answer me this, david sedaris and bill mckibben! July 7, 2008

i’ve been listening to the answer me this! podcast with helen and olly (but mostly martin the sound man) for a few weeks now while i’m at work – which, conveniently, is where i am right now – and i just wanted to give them a little shoutout while i’m waiting for my machine to load up so i can get some work done.

they’re a british comedy podcast that just, quite literally, answers people’s random questions. i’m only on episode 35 right now and my ipod has just died so i’m out of laughs for this afternoon (until i get in my car and use my fm transmitter, haha!), but it’s quite possibly the funniest thing i’ve ever heard, with perhaps the exception of david sedaris (i’ve got “me talk pretty one day” on an audiobook, so i’m sure my coworkers think i’m insane as i try to hold in my laughter at work). incidentally, i’ve yet to read his new book, “when you are engulfed in flames” – anyone read it? funny as the rest? i don’t know why i’m asking, i’m sure it is.

they’re absolutely hysterical and also british, so it doesn’t really get much better than that. you can subscribe to them on itunes and/or visit their website at this link here. my favorite episode so far is number thirty-four (quite a lot of links in this, aren’t there?), in which helen and martin recount a trip across the pond to the set of the “sex and the city” movie (although by accident), among other exploits. of course, this was in like september or october, so…it’s been a while, but still hilarious.

i really wish it wouldn’t cost me an arm and a leg to make an international call, or i definitely would. i suppose i could email them sometime, but we’ll just have to wait and see. anyway, definitely check it out.

in other news, i’ve just found out that bill mckibben is going to be a guest of honor at my university this fall at the mcbride lecture and leadership seminar (or something similarly named, shame on me). since i don’t really know who he is, let me copy a little taste of the press release.

Best-selling author and environmental activist Bill McKibben will deliver the fourth annual McBride Lecture for Faith & Literature at 7:00 p.m. on Oct. 3 in Oklahoma Christian University’s Gaylord University Center. The evening lecture will be followed by a book-signing reception. Both events are free and open to the public.

McKibben is author of the national bestseller Deep Economy: The Wealth of Communities and the Durable Future (Holt, 2007) as well as books such as The End of Nature (Random House, 2006, revised) and a host of essays in the nation’s top magazines. McKibben is scholar-in-residence at Middlebury College and lives with his wife, the writer Sue Halpern, and their daughter in Ripon, Vt.

The Boston Globe has called Deep Economy a “hopeful manifesto” and “an inspired book.” USA Today has written of Deep Economy: “What makes McKibben’s book stand out is the completeness of his arguments and his real-world approach to solutions.” Bill Moyers has written, “Bill McKibben enjoys the most conspicuous place in my own pantheon of journalistic heroes for his pioneer work in writing about the environment.”

“We invite Oklahomans to hear this powerful thinker discuss issues of great importance – not only how both to design durable human communities and care for the planet, but also specifically how to sustain the great quality of life we enjoy in Oklahoma as well as pass on to our children the best of Oklahoma’s natural resources,” said Scott LaMascus, Professor of English and Director of the McBride Center for Faith & Literature.

The lecture will come at the end of “Green Week” on campus of Oklahoma Christian University, which is sponsored by the university’s Student Government Association. For more details about the activities of Green Week at OC, visit www.oc.edu.

so there’s that – free and all, so if you’d like to come, please do. it’s always a good time. last year we had marilynne robinson, author of “gilead” and “housekeeping,” and the year before we saw robert pinsky, former US poet laureate and author of nineteen books (dream big). he definitely cuts an intimidating figure, but he was a great speaker. so if you’ll be in the area at the time, feel free to stop by.

never say kanye didn’t give his all on this truman show June 27, 2008

Courtesy of TheSuperficial:

Kanye West does some angry blogging

More: Kanye West

Kanye West flipped out on his blog about people criticizing his performance at Bonnaroo. Kanye made festivalgoers wait 2-3 hours trying to get his stage show set up. He didn’t perform until after 4 a.m. He blames Bonnaroo organizers and Pearl Jam for ending their show an hour late. Here’s an excerpt from his blog at Kanye Universe City:

I am sick of negative people who just sit around trying 2 plot my downfall… Why???? I understand if people don’t like me because I like me or if people think tight clothes look gay or people say I run my mouth to much, But this Bonnaroo thing is the worst insult I’ve ever had in my life. This is the most offended I’ve ever been… this is the maddest I ever will be. I’m typing so fucking hard I might break my fucking Mac book Air!!!!!!!! Call me any name you want…. arrogant, conceited, narcissistic, racist, metro, fag whatever you can think of…. BUT NEVER SAY I DIDN’T GIVE MY ALL! NEVER SAY I DIDN’T GIVE MY ALL! THIS SHOWS NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY TO BE GOOD AT SOMETHING THERE WILL BE PEOPLE THERE TO LIE ABOUT YOU AND BRING YOU DOWN! LIKE WAYNE SAYS PLEASE DON’T SHOOT ME DOWN CAUSE I’M FLYING! I’M FUCKING HURT BY THIS ONE. ALL I CARE ABOUT ARE THE FANS. JUST SAY THIS OUT LOUD IN A ROOM FULL OF PEOPLE, “KANYE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT GIVING A GOOD PERFORMANCE.” CAN ANYONE HONESTLY SAY THAT ????????? HAS ANYONE EVEN TAKEN THE TIME TO AT LEAST DO THE MATH??? BONNAROO SHOULD HAVE RELEASED A STATEMENT IN MY DEFENSE BUT SINCE THEY HAVEN’T LET’S BREAK DOWN THE WALLS ON THIS TRUMAN SHOW AND LET YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY OCCURRED!!! FOR OVER A MONTH WE WENT BACK AND FORTH ON WETHER OR NOT WE COULD EVEN FIT MY STAGE AT THE FESTIVAL. ONE DAY THEY WOULD SAY YES… WE’D SEND THEM OUR SPECS THEN THEY THEY’D SAY OK… THEN THEY WOULD SEND SPECS BACK THAT DIDN’T FIT THE STAGE. WE WERE OBVIOUSLY DEALING WITH FUCKING IDIOTS WHO DIDN’T REALLY HAVE THE CAPACITY TO REALLY PUT ON THIS SHOW PROPERLY. THEY TRIED 2 GIVE ME A TIME SLOT WERE IT WAS STILL LIGHT OUTSIDE … I HAVE A FUCKING LIGHT SHOW DUMB ASS, IT’S NOT CALLED GLOW IN THE DARK FOR NO REASON SQUID BRAINS! MY PEOPLE WORKED OUT A COMPROMISED STAGE PLOT AND A 3AM TIME SLOT AND I AGREED. FAST FOWARD TO THE DAY OF THE SHOW. MY PRODUCTION MANAGER TRIED TO LOAD IN FOR 24 HOURS BEFORE I WENT ON STAGE BUT THE FESTIVAL WOULDN’T ALLOW US TO DO ANYTHING UNTILL PEARL JAM LEFT THE STAGE. PEARL JAM ENDED ONE HOUR LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AT THAT POINT WE’RE RACING AGAINST THE SUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did he just call them squid brains? I had no idea Kanye West was a pirate. Anyway, for those of you wondering why he’s yelling, no, he’s not in a movie theather. Kanye’s just really passionate about making sure people know what a dedicated performer he is. And how much he loves overusing punctuation. LOVES IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

So there’s that. Kanye has definitely busted a nut, and it looks like it was his last one, too. Looks like Jesus isn’t walking with him anymore, for real. Squid brain. I guess RACING AGAINST THE SUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! didn’t work so well for him in the end. Too bad. Guess he’s still stuck in that Truman Show he’s bursting a vein in his forehead yelling about.

Watch that Macbook Air, though. We’re not all so fortunate, and it would be a terrible shame to lose one of those beautiful things.

I just had to post this. I was just scrolling through some celeb gossip sites including TheSuperficial, What Would Tyler Durden Do?, and D-Listed, and actually started crying out of laughter when I read this.

in indonesia we call it the sajarang gigi June 17, 2008

well, according to BBC News, there’s a new hunt for the yeti going down pretty soon in the jungles of india.

“According to the author and environmentalist Llewellyn Marak, such stories cannot be dismissed out hand.

“I saw the footprints for myself last year,” he said, and they cannot easily be explained away.

“The prints were different from other animals – and were almost human in appearance – apart from the fact that they were about 18 inches [46cm] long.

“Both my father and grandfather also saw the creature at different times. Each said that it resembled a large gorilla.”

Mr Marak argues that the Meghalayan forestry department has not seriously investigated the sightings because they are “uninterested and too lazy.”

yes, marak, that must be it. it couldn’t possibly BE a large gorilla, could it? and since no one has ever actually caught the yeti, no one would be able to accurately describe it, would they?

why is there such a fascination with finding the yeti? that i do not understand. i suppose the same reason people are still searching for the loch ness monster, which is reputed to still be swimming around after hundreds of years, although it may have been found by a small family and kept in a toilet for a brief period of time, then more commonly known as a water horse.

“Meghalaya’s Divisional Forestry Officer Shri PR Marak denies suggestions that his officers have not properly investigated alleged yeti sightings – which he argues is an expensive exercise in thick jungle only accessible by foot.

He uses diplomatic language when discussing whether yetis exist in the state.

“I have gone to see the evidence for myself and have even taken a plaster cast of one of the footprints,” he says.

“As you know the presence of such a creature is an important part of our culture – passed down to us by our parents and grandparents.

“But we have no concrete evidence it exists, and there may even be a possibility that some of the evidence has been manipulated to create a stir.”

do we really not have better things to do with our time? i mean, i’ve heard it said that i’m part choctaw indian, but i’m not out searching down the origins of my past. if there were a giant unexplained mystery encompassed by my heritage, though, i’d be packed up and gone yesterday to hunt it down. for sure.

“The truth is out there somewhere,” says Dipu Marak sincerely.

“But like the Loch Ness monster this creature is obviously not fond of giving too many photo opportunities.”

ah yes, we return to our friend le loch ness monster. i suppose the yeti, yowie, sajarang gigi, whatever you want to call it (in canadia they prefer sasquatch), must ever remain the greatest unsolved mystery of our time. don’t be alarmed, however – there’s a veritable army of men surnamed “marak” out looking for it.

priority one – yeti

priorities two through the end – world peace, poverty, illiteracy, etc.

on a lighter and even less serious note, here’s a joke my boyfriend told me. i chuckled for a good fifteen minutes, but then again, i think most things are funny.

once there was a man named mr. opporknockity who tuned pianos. one day he went and tuned a woman’s piano, and it then made such a glorious sound, and she was thrilled. she played and played and played for a few months, and then the sound started to be less glorious. she became less and less happy with the sound of the piano, and she called him up to ask him to come retune her piano. but he listened to her story and then said, “i’m sorry, but mr. opporknockity only tunes once.”

ba-dum-cha. say it out loud if you don’t get it.